Cup of Coffee: July 30, 2024

Witt's heroics, Bowden's buffoonery, trades, trades, and more trades, liberal shower curtain propaganda, Supreme Court reform, and weird dreams

Cup of Coffee: July 30, 2024

Good morning!

The trades kept a-comin’ yesterday and I talk about ‘em all today, as well as the other baseball news.

In Other Stuff: Anna has shower curtain opinions, Biden puts Supreme Court reform on the table, and I had a weird dream.


And That Happened 

Here are the scores. Here are the highlights:

Orioles 11, Blue Jays 5: You can get the game details of the first game of the doubleheader from the box score and game story. All I care about here is that James McCann took a 95 mph fastball from Yariel Rodríguez right to the face and ended up a bloody mess. Like, a really bloody mess. I went and found a highlight and there was more blood there than I’ve seen in connection with a baseball injury in some time. And then . . . he stayed in the game somehow. All nine innings, with gauze in each nostril and a swollen right eye. I could drop the photo here but it’s kinda gross, so click if you dare. As for the nightcap . . .

Blue Jays 8, Orioles 4: Vladimir Guerrero Jr., who had homered in the busted-nose game, also homered here and went 7-for-10 with five RBI in the doubleheader. Nice day at the office. Baltimore made three errors in this one leading to three unearned runs. It was a long day.

Guardians 8, Tigers 4: José Ramírez homered twice and then, after the game, he was asked about the Guardians acquiring Lane Thomas from the Nats, which I discuss down in the Daily Briefing:

José Ramírez said he was unaware the Guardians had completed a trade. "Tell me." "Lane Thomas." "From the..." "Nationals." "Oh, OK, OK. Good player."

Ramírez may be my favorite player in the game right now.

Yankees 14, Phillies 4: Both Aaron Judge and Jazz Chisholm Jr. homered twice. Chisholm did it using Aaron Judge’s bat. And then after the game he said he wasn’t going to use it anymore. My man: I’d suggest you continue using it. It just got you two damn homers. Ben Rice and Anthony Volpe also went deep. Three straight wins for the Yankees, which is something they haven’t done for a good while.

Reds 7, Cubs 1: Carson Spiers allowed one hit in five scoreless innings in his return from the injured list and, TJ Friedl hit a three-run homer, Will Benson hit a two-run shot, and Jeimer Candelario went deep as well. New Cubs reliever Nate Pearson and manager Craig Counsell were ejected in the eighth after Pearson hit Tyler Stephenson in the helmet, one pitch after he allowed that homer to Candelario. I get the ejection in that situation but people probably need to except that Pearson doesn’t know where it’s going half the damn time.

Mets 15, Twins 2: Pete Alonso homered, Jeff McNeil and Luis Torrens each drove in three, and Brandon Nimmo and J.D. Martinez each knocked in two. Every Mets starter had at least one RBI besides Jesse Winker, who singled and scored. A rout. A thrashing. A trouncing. An annihilation and a debacle. But it’s baseball and we play again today so it’s all good.

Red Sox 14, Mariners 7: Masataka Yoshida hit a two-run double, had three hits overall and drove in four. Wilyer Abreu had two RBI, Dominic Smith added a solo homer and two RBI, Romy Gonzalez hit a pinch-hit two run shot, and the Red Sox had a season-high eight doubles in yet another double-digit score last night. Something was in the air.

Brewers 8, Atlanta 3: Atlanta took an early lead behind a big Marcell Ozuna homer and another shot from Orlando Arcia but then Milwaukee scored eight unanswered runs between the fifth and the eighth. A solo shot from Rhys Hoskins and a three-run shot from Willy Adames set it all off. Jackson Chourio later hit a two-run blast and by then it was academic.

Rangers 6, Cardinals 3: Nathaniel Lowe’s two-run homer in the seventh turned a two-run game into a four-run game. Nate Eovaldi was solid for six and picked up the win despite only striking out two, but the Rangers strung 13 hits behind him and that’ll help you out when you’re not at your dominant best. The Cards picked up a couple of players in a trade yesterday who should be in town today so they have a new look to look forward to. More down in the Daily Briefing.

Royals 8, White Sox 5: Bobby Witt Jr. hit a grand slam in the eighth to turn a one-run deficit into a three-run lead, giving the game to the Royals and sending the White Sox to their 15th straight loss. Witt has gone 13-for-16 with two doubles and two home runs in his last four games against the White Sox. But of course we know he’s been too good for minor league opponents since his callup in 2022, so maybe it doesn’t prove all that much.

Pirates 5, Astros 3: Paul Skenes pitched well (6 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 1 ER, 6K) but actually stood to be the loser when he was pulled, with the Pirates trailing 2-1. But Oneill Cruz doubled in the tying run in the eighth and Michael A. Taylor hit a three-run homer in the top of the ninth to break a 2-2 tie and give the game to the Buccos.

Diamondbacks 9, Nationals 8: The Snakes pulled off a big comeback with a five-run ninth, featuring a two-run homer from Ketel Marte and capped by Corbin Carroll’s pinch-hit walkoff two-run homer for the win. All five of the runs came in 1/3 of an inning off of Nats closer Kyle Finnegan, who had been talked about as a trade target. This game probably didn’t help in that regard. Not all news was good for the Diamondbacks, however: Christian Walker will undergo an MRI today after leaving the game with left oblique tightness. After the game manager Torey Lovullo implied that the injury is serious and that Walker will be out for a good while.


The Daily Briefing

Ladies and gentlemen, Jim Bowden!

One item before we get to the trades. As you may have seen, White Sox starter Garrett Crochet’s representatives have made it known that, if he is traded, he will not pitch in the postseason unless he is given a contract extension and that he will not work in the bullpen. While this is an unusual thing for a baseball player or his people to say, it’s also an understandable one: Crochet has an injury history, he was just converted to starting this year, and he is already WAY over his career high for innings. Being leaned on heavily in the postseason and/or having his routine changed presents a pretty big injury risk to him and he wants some insurance if that’s gonna happen.

The White Sox are not terribly happy about this, with GM Chris Getz trying but mostly failing to be diplomatic in voicing his displeasure about it yesterday. Into that mix wades The Athletic’s Jim Bowden with this beaut:

Definitely makes it harder to trade him at the deadline and shrinks the market for them. Crochet has options so if they don't trade him they can always option him to minors for the rest of the season and save the service time. In addition, may have more suitors in the offseason.9:30 PM • Jul 29, 2024212 Likes   28 Retweets  60 Replies

The fact that Bowden is saying, out loud, that the White Sox could and maybe should punitively demote Crochet and fuck with his service time — which would cause the MLBPA to file a grievance before the ink was dry on the paperwork — provides you with some keen insight as to why he never got another front office job after he left the Nationals in disgrace.

Why he still has a job with The Athletic — or ever got a job with The Athletic in the first place — remains a mystery, however.

More Trades

The trade deadline is tonight at 6PM Eastern. Here’s what went down yesterday.

Royals acquire Michael Lorenzen from the Rangers

The Trade: The Kansas City Royals have acquired righty Michael Lorenzen from the Rangers for lefty Walter Pennington.

Quick Take: The Royals are contenders but could slide out of contention with a bad stretch. By snagging Lorenzen, who currently sports a 3.87 ERA and a 74/48 K/BB ratio across 97.2 innings with the Rangers, they marginally improve the back of the rotation and/or the bullpen. But just marginally. A lot of Lorenzen’s numbers are a function of him overachieving his peripherals in the first couple months of the season. He’s not as good as that 3.87 ERA suggests.

Not that he cost much. Pennington, 26, was an un-drafted free agent in 2020, though that was the year they only had five rounds in the draft, so it’s probably misleading. He has exactly two-thirds of a big league inning under his belt. He’s had moderate success as a reliever in the Royals system but isn’t a needle-mover or anything.

Mariners trade Ty France to the Reds

The Trade: The Cincinnati Reds acquired infielder Ty France and cash considerations from the Seattle Mariners in exchange for minor league catcher Andruw Salcedo.

Quick Take: France was designated for assignment by the Mariners last week after a pretty dreadful 2024. There is some hope to be found in his peripherals that he was pretty unlucky in the first half and, of course, any hitter going to Great American Ballpark is bound to see an uptick in his production. The Reds’ defensive scheme is, to say the least, fluid, so it’ll be curious to see where France plays and who loses plate appearances because of it.

Andruw Salcedo, 21, is down at A-ball. He hasn’t played more than 39 games in a season despite being a pro since 2021.

Red Sox acquire starter Quinn Priester from the Pirates

The Trade: the Boston Red Sox acquired starter Quinn Priester from the Pittsburgh Pirates in exchange for infield prospect Nick Yorke.

Quick Take: Priester, 23, was Pittsburgh's first round pick in 2019. His prospect status has dimmed considerably and, at present, he sports a 6.46 ERA in 94.2 major league innings. Given that Boston immediately assigned him to Triple-A, one figures that they’re gonna work on fixing him between now and next spring with an eye on the future as opposed to leaning on him to help earn a Wild Card spot.

Nick Yorke can hit a good deal but he is limited defensively and the Sox have been trying him out in left field at Triple-A. Guys with that profile tend to get thrown into deals like this.

Dodgers, Cardinals, White Sox make a three-way trade

The Trade: The Dodgers get infielder Tommy Edman and reliever Michael Kopech, the Cardinals get starter Erick Fedde and outfielder Tommy Pham, and the White Sox get infielder Miguel Vargas and prospects Alexander Abertus and Jaral Pérez.

Quick Take: The Cardinals seem to be the big winners here. They were in need of rotation help and a right-handed bat and they got ‘em both, without having to give up much in return.

Fedde, in his first year back after a sabbatical in South Korea, posted a 3.11 ERA (133 ERA+) in 121.2 innings for the White Sox. He’s not striking out the world but he doesn’t walk guys and has induced soft contact this year. Definitely an improvement for the Cards rotation.

St. Louis also reunites with old friend Tommy Pham, who has played for eight different teams in his career and has been traded at each of the past three trade deadlines. He’s been a slightly above league average hitter this year and that’s not useless given the holes the Cards have in their lineup, particularly in the outfield. Also: he tends to hit better after those trades — maybe he’s more motivated on a winner? — so he could see a bounce upon his return to the Cards.

The Dodgers get Edman, who can play almost anywhere, but has yet to play at all this year because of offseason wrist surgery and a sprained ankle. That should change soon as he’s currently on a rehab assignment. Once healthy he can help the Dodgers at shortstop, where they’ve been playing Nick Ahmed while Mookie Betts and Miguel Rojas have been on the shelf, or in center field, where they’ve gotten poor production from basically all options. His bat doesn’t bring much to the table, though, so it seems like something of a “whatever” move. As for Kopech: he has not been great over the past two seasons but he’s got a strong, if wild, arm and has some upside I guess. Can’t hurt to get him out of Chicago.

As for the White Sox: eh, well. Vargas was once one of the best prospects in the Dodgers system and a top-50 overall prospect and has continued to hit well in the minors. He’s 24 now, however, and hasn’t really put it together at the big league level yet, hitting 239/.313/.423 in 71 big league at-bats this year. While one probably doesn’t want to be on the White Sox, it is a place where a young player needing as many reps as he can get to figure things out can do well for himself.

Albertus was the Dodgers’ 16th-rated prospect per Baseball America and Pérez was their 18th. Albertus, by the way, is out for the rest of the season because of a stress reaction in his leg. Whatever the case, I’m figuring they’re not gonna change the fortunes of the franchise. Overall it doesn’t seem like a lot in return for giving up one of the most sought-after arms on the market and a useful bat to boot.

Mariners get Justin Turner from the Blue Jays

The Trade: Seattle Mariners acquire Justin Turner from the Toronto Blue Jays in exchange for minor league outfielder RJ Schreck.

Quick Take: This one must’ve come together quickly, as Turner had started the Jays day game against the Orioles and was pulled in the third inning, just before news of the deal broke. Whatever the case, in Turner the M’s get a bat that, while it ain’t what it once was — and what is for a ballplayer pushing 40? — can still be useful. On the year he’s hitting .254/.349/.371 (106 OPS+). He’s obviously nearing the end but all Seattle needs from him is a couple of months of his age 37 or even 38-level of production to help them hang with and hopefully surpass Houston.

Schreck was a ninth-round draft pick out of college last year who was recently promoted to Double-A. A marginal prospect at the moment.

Guardians acquire Lane Thomas from the Nationals

The Trade: The Cleveland Guardians get outfielder Lane Thomas from the Nationals and send prospects Alex Clemmey, Rafael Ramirez, Jr. and José Tena to Washington.

Quick Take: Thomas is a lefty-masher — he’s batting .326/.410/.512 in 100 plate appearances against southpaws — but far more vulnerable to right-handed pitching. He could make a nice platoon partner for Will Brennan, but I suppose we’ll see how the Guardians decide to play it.

This is a pretty dang nice prospect haul for the Nationals.

Clemmey, a lefty starter, was a second round selection from last year’s draft. He turned 19 less than two weeks ago. He’s struck out 97 guys in 69.1 Carolina League innings but he’s walked 47. That’s gotta change before he can move on, but he has some serious upside. A legit starter prospect.

Yes, Ramírez is the son of the Atlanta Rafael Ramírez. Who is 66 yet has a 19 year-old kid, which is not expected, but then again, going back to my WTBS days nothing was really as expected when Ramírez was involved. Ramírez the younger is a big physical shortstop with power potential and no small amount of plate patience for a guy his age. Holes in his swing but you’ll have that.

Tena, 23, made his big league debut last year and has played a brief about with Cleveland this year but he’s yet to really stick. He has mostly played shortstop but has seen time at second and third. He has seemed to turn the corner with his bat this year, hitting .298/.353/.493 at Columbus. He could be useful for the Nationals right away.

I honestly did not think Lane Thomas would bring back three useful-to-valuable players, but here we are.

Dodgers acquire Amed Rosario from the Rays 

The Trade: For the second year in a row the Dodgers have acquired utilityman Amed Rosario at the deadline. Last year from Cleveland, this year from Tampa Bay. The Rays — who have now traded seven players away this deadline — get minor league righty Michael Flynn in return.

Quick Take: Rosario, who is enjoying is best offensive season — .307/.331/.417 (114 OPS+) — will mostly face lefties while mostly playing second base. Flynn is a 27 year old reliever with no major league experience, but he has decent ratios in the minors so who knows? The Rays tend to get a lot of such guys.

Pirates get Jalen Beeks from the Rockies for a minor league lefty

The Trade: The Pirates acquire lefty Jalen Beeks from the Rockies in exchange for minor league left-hander Luis Peralta,

Quick Take: Beeks will be a middle of the pen guy for the Pirates after posting a 4.74 ERA in 49.1 innings for the Rockies. Peralta, Freddy Peralta’s little brother, is currently in Double-A. He’s got a live fastball. Could be something someday.

Toronto trades Yusei Kikuchi to Houston

The Trade: The BlueJays have sent Yusei Kikuchi to the Astros in exchange for righty Jake Bloss, 1B/OF Joey Loperfido and infielder Will Wagner, who is the son of Billy Wagner.

Quick Take: Kikuchi is a rental and a pretty decent one at that. You know his deal by now: great stuff and flashes of actual greatness but he’s pretty inconsistent and over the long haul he tends to be fairly average. Nice strikeout/walk numbers, though, and a guy who will definitely bolster the middle-to-back of the Astros rotation.

The Astros paid a pretty heavy price for the rental, though, as Bloss and Loperfido are legit prospects — number 2 and number 5 in the Astros system per Baseball America, respectively — and Wagner is hitting really damn well at Triple-A this year. Bloss alone seems like too much for Kikuchi, really. And maybe Loperfido is too much on his own too. This is a great haul for the Jays for a two-month rental.

Reds trade Frankie Montas to the Brewers

The Trade: The Cincinnati Reds are trading righty starter Frankie Montas to the Brewers for outfielder Joey Wiemer and right-handed pitcher Jakob Junis.

Quick Take: Montas has been pretty meh this year, posting a a 5.01 ERA amidst up-and-down performances and generally just being a back-of-the-rotation arm. Wiemer has been the odd man out in the Milwaukee outfield with Jackson Chourio, Sal Frelick and Garrett Mitchell surpassing him. Junis is useful, though. He’s only made ten appearances this year as a swingman but they’ve been useful appearances.

I really don’t know why the Brewers wanted Montas but I don’t think this will be a move most of us think about until he’s eventually DFA’d or traded or non-tendered or whatever and we go “oh yeah, Montas was on the Brewers.”

Atlanta acquires Jorge Soler and Luke Jackson from the Giants

The Trade: Atlanta gets DH/OF Jorge Soler and lefty Luke Jackson from the San Francisco Giants for lefty Tyler Matzek and 3B/OF Sabin Ceballos.

Quick Take: Atlanta’s 2021 World Series MVP and a reliever who pitched 71 games and posted a 1.98 ERA for that same team come back into the fold. It ain’t bringing back Freddie Freeman or anything but Soler has been hitting like the Soler of old of late and his bat will provide a boost. The only bad thing is that with Marcell Ozuna on the team Soler or Ozuna will be wearing a glove each night and that’s just asking for trouble and/or comical highlights. Jackson has not had a great year but relievers can turn it on and off on a dime and maybe the muscle memory of driving to White Flight Stadium in Cobb County each afternoon will help him channel some of that 2021 magic.

As for the Giants’ return: in addition to dumping salary — Atlanta is taking on all of the $26 million owed to Soler in 2025-26 — which was the primary reason for this move, they get a marginal reliever and a far-away prospect. The reliever, Matzek, was also on that 2021 Atlanta club — and was a hero of Game 6 of the NLCS that year — but he gone now. He missed all of last year and much of this year due to Tommy John surgery and hasn’t pitched well in 11 games since returning. Sabin Ceballos, 22, was a 3rd-round pick in the 2023 MLB Draft out of the University of Oregon. He’s at High-A and isn’t really hitting well yet, so who knows.

Reynaldo López’s MRI came back clean

Beyond the trade for Soler, the Atlanta Baseball Club got some more good news: Reynaldo López’s MRI came back clean. He’s day-to-day and could even make his next start.

As you’ll recall, López left Sunday’s start with forearm tightness and flew back to Atlanta. Dodged a bullet there.

The Comcast/Bally’s TV issues are sorta fixed

People whose local teams broadcast on the Bally’s networks and who have Comcast as their cable carrier have been shut out of baseball for quite a while due to a carriage dispute between the companies. The dispute has now been resolved, though I’m guessing a lot of fans won’t be happy about it.

To wit: Comcast and Diamond Sports Group — the company that runs the Bally Sports networks — announced they’ve reached a deal under which viewers who subscribe to Xfinity’s “Ultimate TV” package can watch games again beginning Thursday. The “Ultimate TV” package, however, is $20 more a month — a month! — than what people were paying to see games before. They are doing some sort of three-month discount to account for the games being off the air until this week, but next year you’ll be paying, what, $140 more just to see baseball? And that’s only if you cancel when the season ends and re-up when it begins. If you’re not that on top of it you’re paying $240 more a year to see just your team’s games.

At this point, why not just get MLB.tv and a VPN to bypass the blackout? It’d be cheaper and you’d get a TON more games. Honestly, though: most of baseball's cable-viewing demographic isn't gonna do that. And a great many of them are not gonna pay a $240 annual premium to watch games. They'll just stop, and when something has been out of sight for even a short while it tends to go out of mind.

It’s just the latest way fans are being alienated from the game.

Reyes Moronta: 1993-2024

Former Giants, Dodgers, Diamondbacks and Angels pitcher Reyes Moronta died in a traffic accident on Sunday. He was 31. The news of his death was reported by Bravos de León, the Mexican League team for whom he pitched until his release last week.

Moronta came up with the San Francisco Giants after being signed out of the Dominican Republic. He made his big league debut at the end of the 2017 season and would go on to appear in 136 games before being non-tendered and then leaving as a free agent following the 2021 season. He pitched 22 games for the Dodgers in 2022 and ended that season with the Diamondbacks. Last year he made two appearances with the Angels before leaving for the Mexican League in 2024. For his career Moronta appeared in 177 games, posting an ERA of 3.05 (133 ERA+).

Rest in peace, Reyes Moronta.


Other Stuff

From the family group chat

My daughter Anna moves into her first apartment next month and she and her roommates are in the process of gathering stuff. To that end Anna texted Amazon listings to her mother and me yesterday showing a cute bathmat/bathroom rug combo and a shower curtain she wants.

Anna’s mom: “You’re also gonna need a shower curtain liner”

Anna: “That’s liberal propaganda.”

I realize I have only myself to blame for Anna being like this but, Jesus Christ, it’s exhausting.

Supreme Court Reform

Yesterday President Biden called for sweeping changes to the Supreme Court, proposing 18-year term limits for the justices and a binding, enforceable ethics code for Supreme Court Justices. He is also pushing for a constitutional amendment that would prohibit blanket immunity for presidents, which is, obviously, a rebuke of the Supreme Court’s ridiculous and irresponsible decision earlier this month that Donald Trump is immune from prosecution.

Thought One: basically none of this has a chance of becoming law. Some of it because the Constitution supersedes it and amending the Constitution given today’s political environment is damn nigh impossible. Some of it because, eventually, it would be the Supreme Court itself which would weigh-in on the constitutionality of it all and they’re not going to rebuke themselves or limit their own power and authority, even if they have to ignore the law and precedent to do it. I mean, it’s sort of how they roll these days.

Thought Two: None of that matters, actually. These specific initiatives may be dead letters in the short term, but it's important to put them out there. The Roberts Court has made itself intensely political, has shown itself to be profoundly corrupt, and if it wants to play politics it has to deal with political heat like everyone else who plays politics. These measures may not pass but simply putting them out there will help move the Overton Window and, eventually, things will get done.

Also: it’s simply good short-term politics for Democrats.

The public, generally, thinks the recent rulings from the Court are bad ones and that news of the Court’s corruption is bad. They’ve simply been resigned to it, though, because everyone has, for years, gone along with the fiction that the Supreme Court is above politics and is thus unassailable. Going after it can change that.

Specifically, it’ll cause Republicans to line up to defend this corrupt-ass court and its bullshit rulings. The more attention drawn to the Court’s radicalness and outrageousness, the fewer people will erroneously assume it's above politics. The more the GOP tries to defend it, the more it associates itself with a branch of government which is already deeply unpopular and absurd on its face. It'll play bad for them.

Politics is often about playing the long game. And you can absolutely win the long game even if you lose a lot of the early rounds.

Ohio State is not a serious institution 

This is specific to my alma mater, but I’m sure many of your alma maters (almas mater? I dunno) have played this game too or will soon be playing it.

The news: Ohio State University has appointed a legal scholar named Lee J. Strang as the inaugural executive director of something called the Salmon P. Chase Center for Civics, Culture, and Society. In Ohio State’s words, this center, just founded in 2023, “will be an academic home at Ohio State for teaching and researching the foundation of the American constitutional order and its impact on society.”

So what? Here’s what: Strang, previously a law professor at the University of Toledo, is a right wing political hack. He’s deeply embedded in the anti-abortion movement and is often used by right wing activists as intellectual cover for sketchy, antidemocratic crap, justified by dubious “originalist” legal arguments.

Last year he gave super specious testimony in support of Ohio Republicans' 11th hour efforts to change the rules on amendments to the state constitution in a thankfully vain effort head off public referenda on abortion rights and recreational marijuana. He’s also been a big advocate for the Christian charter school grift and even founded one himself. He sued the state to prevent mask mandates in schools. He was a visiting scholar at the authoritarian Viktor Orban's think tank in Hungary (that think tank congratulated him on the new gig yesterday). He’s just a right wing cretin pushing a political agenda under the guise of constitutional scholarship, ironically enough.

How did Strang get this job at a large, public university, you ask? Why, he was the primary advocate for the creation of the job in the first place! The Salmon P. Chase Center for Civics, Culture, and Society is the product of Republicans’ years-long push to go after what it alleges to be liberal bias in higher education. “We’ll plant our own political operative at the university!” they thought. And Strang is the guy they have planted. And yes, planted is the right word, as Republicans in the state legislature mandated that only one faculty member be on the hiring committee for this position, so no one with academic bonafides or standards had the power to stop this. Ohio State administrators, on the other hand, who answer to politicians and who are constantly threatened with getting their budgets cut, had outsized say.

Just disgraceful.

Dream Journal

I don’t always remember my dreams and, if I do, they usually slide out of my head within an hour of waking up. I had one before I woke up yesterday morning, however, that I’m probably not forgetting for a while.

I was in college in the dorms. I got back to my four-person room after winter break to find all of my clothes and belongings were missing. A new person was putting stuff in the empty closet and drawers. I asked what the deal was and they said they didn’t know, it was their room, not mine. No one else knew either. I tried to call an administrator and couldn’t get an answer. So I did what anyone would do: I asked Shohei Ohtani.

Ohtani lived upstairs. He was not a student. He was baseball star and international celebrity Shohei Ohtani, in my dreams just as in reality. He had a sweet pad. A large apartment, really. Why it was in the dorm building I do not know.

Oh, and he had two live tigers as pets. They were chill.

Anyway, when I got to Ohtani’s place he and some buddy of his were playing video games. I asked Ohtani if he knew what happened to my stuff. He said “Who cares? We’re going to Cobra.” Cobra, by the way, is a bar near my actual house here in Columbus. Ohtani wanted to party. He then reached into a drawer and pulled out three plastic firefighter helmets. He put one on, directed me and the friend to put one on, and we left. There was no explanation for the helmets and it didn’t seem all that strange to me in the dream.

I wish I could say that I had a good time partying with Shohei Ohtani, in our fire helmets, at Cobra, but I woke up before we got there. The end.

Live your dreams, people. But be careful of the live tigers.

Have a great day everyone.

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